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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The 12 Dumbest Uses of Scientific Research Dollars in 2012

Sometimes Truth is funnier than fiction...I saw this list on Live Science and just had to share-The 12 Most DUH Scientific conclusions of the year. Its incredible that people with degrees actually took the time and spent the money for this kind of research (and some of these were funded with federal grant money). Maybe it is so these "experts" can say they know better.  Read the dirty dozen...I added some of my snarky comments.

1. Good partners make good parents reported Dec. 6 in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.  I know --you always thought when mom and dad were throwing things at each other the kids would be healthier

2. We all want to date a hottie
-Both men and women unconsciously desire a sexually attractive partner, a study released in January found....and I thought Helen Thomas had a long line of suitors and Mila Kunis was lonely....who knew?

3. If you drink before you go out...you will drink more-- those who "pre-game" get drunker than those who just belly up to the bar, according to research published online in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research...SHUT UP!  I cannot believe this one...if you start drinking earlier..you will drink more...who'd have thought it?

4. People with more experience make better decisions...according to a study released in December in the journal Organizational Decision Making and Human Decision Processes. People with more experience in a field were better at making intuitive judgments about that field than newbies...Ladies and Gentlemen..I present to you President Barack Obama.

5. Keeping guns out of the hands of troubled individuals saves lives the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health found that keeping guns away from criminals, those with a history of domestic violence, the mentally ill, people under age 21 and substance abusers  prevents gun violence....I still think we should include members of Congress.

6. Exercise is good for you
--A study published in the journal Clinical Psychological Science in September found that both the improved body image that came with exercise and the social interaction inherent in organized sports made teens less likely to suffer from mental problems such as depression, anxiety or substance abuse....Hmmm--exercise is good for the body and companionship good for the mind?  This one almost blew me away as I walked from my couch to the fridge...Where does that put people like Michael More who is fat and hated?

7. Calling an ambulance improves heart attack survival
--Research presented at the Acute Care Cardiac Congress in October. ...unless of course you suffer the heart attack in a hospital, then it might delay treatment because you won't know if you are coming or going.

8. Guys are more into their girl friends than vice versa
Apparently some stereotypes about guys and sex are true. It turns out that college-age guys report more sexual interest in their platonic female friends than vice versa, though these crushes are usually described as more of a burden than a boon. [Busted! 6 Gender Myths in the Bedroom & Beyond]--college aged guys have more sexual interest in everything!  Haven't these people ever heard of Hooters? Do they really think guys look through the Victoria Secret catalog because they are buying gifts?

9. Smoking a lot of pot can make your mind fuzzy The study, detailed in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that of the 1,000 New Zealanders followed, those who started using pot as teenagers and used it for years afterward lost some of their smarts.  All they had to do is ask me about my college years.  I can tell you....er...er..crap I forgot. Anybody in the mood for some peanut-butter on apples with chocolate chips?

10. Driving when drunk is unsafe-the study, detailed in May in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, or instance, compared with sober drivers of the same age, individuals who were ages 16 to 20 with a blood alcohol between 0.02 and 0.05 were nearly three times as likely to be involved in a fatal crash....Maybe..just maybe this is why driving while intoxicated is against the law.

11. High heels are bad for your feet-
-Rodney Stuck, a professor of podiatry at the Loyola University Health System, recommended buying less-tight-fitting heels (yes), and ditching the fashion statements on days when you plan to do a lot of walking and standing. Sorry I can't comment on this one...since I was in the play Anything Goes...I have never had to wear high heels.

12. Screaming at your child is harmful to your child -
-Psychological child abuse, such as belittling, terrorizing, exploiting and neglecting emotionally, can damage a kid's health. Dr. Harriet MacMillan of McMaster University said in a statement. "We are talking about extremes and the likelihood of harm, or risk of harm, resulting from the kinds of behavior that make a child feel worthless, unloved or unwanted," What do those little monsters know anyway, if they don't shut up I am going to sneak into their bed rooms while they are sleeping and hurt them bad...those good for nothings...now tell them to get me as sammich!

Now that you have read these with my comments...I recommend you go over to Live Science and read their explanations of the same 12 scientific Duhs

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